7 Sentence:
1. Kezuana is happy go lucky in his dream world but discovers a place he has never been before and he enters in even though he feels like he shouldn’t.
2. He enters what looks to be a cave and upon entering everything looks even better than his fantasy world however things start to change for the worse.
3. The world that just look nice one minute turned evil and Kezuana turns to look back but then the way that he came in begins to vanish in the distance.
4. Kezuana keeps walking as things get even darker and then the world around him becomes immensely big.
5. He then tries to stretch himself to feel at normal size but then the world around him becomes filled with voices and ghosts coming down on him.
6. As Kezuana has almost had it he looks up and sees a faint light shinning back at him.
7. He then crawls towards it trying his hardest not to be stuck behind all of this evil and then the light gets bigger and he is back to his happiness!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
This story sounds pretty interesting so far, I cant waitt to see it more developed. I was just curious though as to how you were planning on doing ghosts. It just seems that something like that might be too much work for the amount of time that we have. Unless of course you are planning on stylizing them.
-James Maloney
I like the idea of the story. I think there is some real potential for the story and I can't wait to see what it's like when you're done. However, it seems that maybe he could do something more besides just walking and stretching himself...maybe the character could yell at the voices, something with a little more action. Also, it seems that there would be a lot of detail in the short amount of time that we have to finish it, try to make your worlds simplistic or something along those lines. Other than that, I really think your idea is awesome and I am excited to see it later this semester.
You have a good idea, but its hard to comment on your story unless there is more explained about how you are going to go about animating certain parts of your story.
Is this story a dream? Because I thought we were suppose to stay away from dreams. An alternative may be that he sees the cave is full of happiness and once he walks over a line in the cave. Everything turns dark and evil in a snap.
Maybe there is an illusion of happiness and then once he gets so far into the cave, everything turns bad and he can't seem to get out. So he searches for a new way out and sees a bright light. He could also have a flashlight, which may help with not having to animate much of the environment in the cave,
How are u going to demonstrate happiness?
I don't get the part where he stretches himself either? An alternative may be he uses one of his hands to try to compare how the size of the environment in the cave is getting bigger.
Plus, creating two worlds (good/evil) will be a major task?
Maybe this short story should be about illusions and how we are tricked by what we see, other than this is a dream? I feel that making this a dream makes events less important.
Maybe the story could be about greed and how money can lead us into an evil world. Greed is something a lot of people value. So maybe this would touch people more than if this was a dream.
Well, I hope that you like the suggestions made above.
I'm going to comment on this version of your story, even though I know it has changed and is much better now. I think the idea of having little spheres that your guy plants in order to bring color into the world is great. I know we talked about this story and you wanted to have the character be fearful of and cautious around the cave at first, maybe tossing some of the spheres towards the entrance before entering the cave itself. Having him being trapped by the cave and wanting to try to plant the spheres is a good dilemma, and it seems to have a great deal of potential for suspense. Then I think having the character sort of sacrifice himself by becoming part of the cave is a great ending. I would love to see your revised version on here so I can get a more solid understanding of which direction you've taken this story!
Post a Comment